Husbands should be Selfless
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”(Ephesians 5:21;25 KJV)
A Message to Husbands
Husbands, God has given you His daughter as His Gift. He has Graced you to lead and steward her heart in every area and storm of life. How you choose to handle her heart and lead her, is a direct reflection of your maturity and spiritual relationship with Christ. Through prayer God Himself pours out His wisdom and grants you the keys to unlock and steward His daughter’s heart. You have been given God ordained access to places where God allows you the opportunity to minister. God deeply cares about the success, development, and fruitfulness of your marriage. As Christ leads you, He grants intimate insight about His Daughter so that you can appropriately lead her through critical situations of life. The information He discloses, through your relationship with her, is invented to lead her as He instructs. The information that you receive is not to be used as conviction nor condemnation but rather it’s a time to apply God’s Grace, Patience, Temperance, and Love. Through prayer, God will grant you His wisdom to lead as He instructs. Your wife’s heart belongs to God first He’s using you as a tool to steward her heart accordingly. Your Prayer life is critical to the endurance of your marriage.
Your success or downfall, as a husband, is directly tied to your relationship and consistent prayer life.
Your success or downfall, as a husband, is directly tied to your relationship and consistent prayer life with God. He cares for you as His son and as a Husband to His daughter. As any good Father, He would not withhold any good gift from you. He gave you His daughter. It’s up to you to steward her well and nurture the ground of your marriage. Through your daily interactions, you have access to intimate intel on how to handle her appropriately. It’s with this insight that you learn how to gauge emotional landmines and potential triggers. It is with this delicate information that you’re privy to every facet of her behavior. It is this pertinent information that you’re able to lead the environment of your home with Godly care. It is through prayer where God gives revelation about your wife and the plans that He has for her. Lead her according to knowledge.
…selfless sacrifice will produce God’s reward in your marriage.
A selfless Husband prays for and with His wife continually. Selflessness requires sacrifice. With God’s direction, you have the opportunity to lead your wife from heaven’s perspective. With God’s help, you have His Grace to lead her with diligence, patience, and maturity. As you pray and lead her with care, God will continue to unfold her Purpose and Destiny to you. If you have not received a full revelation about your wife, simply ask God to reveal His plans for her. God created His Daughter and He knows every part of her. He will not leave you without instruction. God will grant you the insight and skillful wisdom to navigate your home as He leads. Your obedience and selfless sacrifice will produce God’s reward in your marriage.
When you allow your heart to be led by His Spirit, your actions will produce His fruit.
Your marriage is His ground to flourish. When you engage God, you will produce His results. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such, there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22, 23 KJV) When you allow your heart to be led by His Spirit, your actions will produce His fruit. When you choose to sacrifice your flesh and not respond out of your emotions, you’ll reflect His selfless Love. However, when you mismanage the ground of her heart, you open the doors of your marriage to the works of the flesh, “…which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:19-21 KJV) Opening the doors of your marriage to emotional mishandling and selfish acts diminish your character and credibility as a husband and it takes time to regain her trust. Her trust is priceless. Your selflessness and emotional sacrifice produce peace in the home, security in the marriage and safety with her heart. Guard your mouth. Watch your words. Lead her wisely.
Here are a few helpful tips that you can engage to lead her in peace:
Defuse The Situation
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger (Proverbs 15:1 KJV). Deflate the situation. If you don’t have an understanding of the situation, ask God to grant you the wisdom to understand the circumstance before tempers flair. Cast down your emotions and choose to put her heart first. Sow peace. Ask God to grant you insight on how to successfully navigate the situation. He is Peace. His solution is peace.
De-escalate
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. (Proverbs 4:7 KJV) There’s your perspective, there’s your wife’s perspective and ultimately there’s God’s Answer. Submit to His Voice and follow Him. There are no winners in an argument. Every emotional battle drains the life, safety, and security in a marriage. Your “win” will cost you something more precious. Her trust.
Forgive Often
Most importantly, let forgiveness richly reign in your marriage. Forgive yourself. Forgive her. Forgive each other. Forgive freely. Forgive often.
Final Thoughts
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1 Peter 3:7 KJV)
This article was written by Vance Jackson who serves on the leadership team of Word of Life Christian Ministries in Detroit, MI. Vance is a successful businessman, speaker and writer and leads Bible studies on topics ranging from Marriage to Faith, Family, Business, Stewardship, Emotional Healing and Leadership.
