Seamus admitted that he was too prideful to call on Jesus, even when demons surrounded him as a kid. But God broke down his walls.
Growing up in a Christian home
Seamus grew up in a Christian household. They came from New Zealand, and he has seven sisters. He was well aware of their Christian culture but had not made his own decision to have a relationship with Jesus, even though they went to church every Sunday.
“I believed in Jesus, but as a kid, I looked up to my father so much that I believed it was possibly not my own belief. It was my adoration of my father. And therefore, his God was my God, but it wasn’t a personal relationship like the one I have now with Jesus,” he said.
Unknown to many, Seamus was constantly visited by demons when he was a kid. He thought it was his fault because he allowed them in and didn’t tell his dad. He was a proud kid. He tried handling it, but was not equipped.
“I would just put up with the fact that they were there. Then I’d try to block out their screaming as much as I could. I just did my best to ignore them because I didn’t know what else to do. And I was too proud to call out Jesus’ name.”
Too prideful to call on Jesus
In order to escape the voices of the demons, Seamus started building bad habits and addictions. He became a chain smoker by the time he was eight years old. He also became a heavy drinker by twelve years old. This opened the door to even more substance abuse.
“Out of nowhere, I began to self-destruct. And self-destruction became a habit, and it became my way of life,” he said. “I couldn’t handle how I was or why I was that way. I was at a point where I wanted to end it all. So, I end up really, really drunk. Climbed up on top of the tree and dove head first onto the road. I didn’t die, but I did do permanent damage to my neck, which I live with every day now,” he added.
When he was seventeen, a demon visited him for the last time. He was too prideful to call on Jesus for help, but decided to go back to church.
He eventually left when many of his past struggles resurfaced and because of shame and guilt. After many heartbreaks, he decided to rely on himself.
Met his wife, but was still too prideful to call on Jesus
“She’s beautiful. I knew I loved her, and I knew I wasn’t good enough through my own strengths—and again, silly, silly man. I attempted to establish God’s law in my own life, but through my own strength and not through relationships.
“We were happy for a period of time. But once again, my own issues, my own desires, my own selfishness, and my own self-destruction began to impact our marriage. I was trying to lead her to God, but I wasn’t leading myself. We would fight. We would argue all the time,” Seamus said.
But one day, his pride came crumbling down.
“I was so broken. I called out to God, and I just said one of my prayers, “I’m sorry. Please, draw near to me because I can’t handle my life.” I called my mom like a little boy and said, “It hurts, it hurts. I can’t bear it, and I don’t know what to do.” And she said, “Son, call out to God; go to church. Find a good church.””
Seamus found a church near their home.
“I walked in the door on Sunday, weeping. I was inconsolable, I was ashamed. And I was so vulnerable and so ready to move on from the destructive life I’d caused for myself. And I walked in the door, and I was walking with open arms. I rededicated my life to Christ, probably sincerely the first time I dedicated myself to Christ.”
Wife gives her life to the Lord
“We’re both in God; we’re both redeemed; and our lives are changing drastically, so we’ve both been growing phenomenally.”
Seamus stopped using drugs and his drinking addiction.
“My pride has been broken down, and I can see clearly. I can be vulnerable. God carried me the entire way, and Jesus rapidly transformed my heart and mind. My wife is joyful to find out that God has His hands on me, God has His hand on our marriage, and what God has brought together, no one can bring apart. And we both hope and trust in that.”
Pride will get you nowhere
When asked what advice he’d like to give to anyone with the same struggles, he said: “Pride will get you nowhere. We’ve all heard We’ve all heard that “pride goes before a fall.” Even those who are unsaved, we’ve all heard pride goeth before a fall… I lived in pain and agony for a long time because I wanted my own sovereignty. I would advise anyone who has a problem with substance abuse to seek help. Seek God. Cry out to Jesus. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you. If you earnestly seek God, He will answer.
“Now, there are a lot of people out there who feel stuck, like I did. Who feels like they’re trapped in their own lives, in their own worldview, like I was. There’s nothing God can’t do. There’s nothing that Jesus won’t redeem you from,” he concluded.
Header image: Seamus [Deliverance Down Under]. YouTube, 22 March 2023, https://youtu.be/96Odmjd4aPg
