In 2017, I began writing a book titled, “Whose Will Is It Anyway?” It was during a very difficult season in my life, one that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
You see, in April of that year, my husband made a decision to leave for work, and never returned. No phone call, no notice, whatsoever. I was left to manage all of our marital expenses, health issues had been a challenge for me, and with no health insurance, I had no healthcare. We were in the middle of a move, dealing with many life-pressing matters. It seemed to be too much for him, leaving me to manage it all alone.
It was a short time later that our friends at Messenger International produced a short-film titled, Abandoned. In it, they share much truth, as it was very relatable to my circumstances at the time. It encouraged me and reminded me that no matter what the world may do to us, God will never leave us or forsake us. Even in our most desperate times, we can count on our heavenly Father to, always, see us through.
We’ve Got to Read the Signs
Life can hit hard, and very unexpectedly at times, blindsiding us, if we’re not fully paying attention. With all the busy highways and byways, and detours along the way, we’ve got to be careful to read the signs, so we don’t get lost and potentially miss our exit.
When we’re navigating through the complexities of this world, it does seem natural to want to go our way, leading in our own direction. In getting past our circumstances, and in relying on our own understanding for it, if we’re not careful, we could cause some serious collateral damage.
If you only knew how many times I would hear, “Move on, already.” I mean, it was all I could do, not to dart out in front of oncoming traffic. I knew I had to be careful, moving forward, and this time, I needed to make sure I was going in the right direction.
In believing, I could do it on my own, I was doing nothing less than leaving myself in this state of reckless mismanagement. Where I should have been paying closer attention to the “road hazard” signs ahead, I got caught up in all the various signals, and this did create more distractions.
The sudden potholes took me by surprise, and before I knew it, my vehicle was sidelined, leaving me feeling more than just stranded. I finally had to realize that putting God in the backseat of my life, and trusting that I could get there on my own, wasn’t going to get me there at all.
Following His Roadmap
2 Corinthians 3:5 says, “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God.”
My circumstances were so overwhelming to me that “my will” was trying to control every part of it.
I was so caught up in the need to instantly have order back in my life that I was missing the “peace” He desired for me, and going in the wrong direction (for it).
Where the world had put these expectations on me, God was saying, “It’s okay, I’ve got this.”
I learned that not only did I need to give up control of the wheel, but there were areas of my life that I still needed to forgive. And while we all want justification and instant vindication in this world, I, ultimately, needed to surrender.
Forgiveness has paved a new path in my life, and one that I will be eternally grateful.
The Lord has made His presence ever aware to me, and I am content in the knowledge that He is with me, and that He will never leave me alone.
Where my heart tank had felt less than half-full, my reserves are now overflowing.
Whose will is it anyway?
Well, if you’d ask me, I’d say that it’s His!
And trust me, if I ever begin to lose my way, on life’s busy highway, again… I won’t hesitate to follow His roadmap for it.🙌