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Christ-centered marriage

God’s Goodness In Your Marriage

by Lauren Koch September 22, 2022

written by Lauren Koch

God’s heart for your marriage is sanctification. As we journey through marriage, we learn how to live set apart, honoring the Lord in our commitment to our spouse. What does it mean to have a marriage that is set apart? It’s one that demonstrates, embodies, and leads others to the goodness of God. It honors the Lord, producing fruit that looks like Him.

Your marriage can embody the light of Jesus

There is a cultural myth that marriage is meant to be hard. While I don’t believe that marriage is always easy, I do know that God, in His goodness, created marriage because it wasn’t good for man to be alone. In marriage, we learn to lift one another, strengthening ourselves in an intertwining with God.

From this place, we experience the power of a surrendered union. God wants to move in your marriage to bring His love onto the earth!

God can transform anything

The enemy wants you to believe there is a limit to God’s ability to transform marriages. God restores all things. Where there are two humble hearts, there is room for God to move. If you are a young Christian couple, I want to encourage you: pray for your marriage! Put on the armor of God for your household daily. Speak life over your spouse and relationship. Pray with one another and learn to prioritize each other’s needs. You have the unique ability to set a foundation for the spiritual life of your relationship.

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

²²Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

²⁵Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing^[b] her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸“

(Ephesians 5:21-33)

September 22, 2022 0 comments

Want A Better Marriage?

by Jessica Kastner February 6, 2022

written by Jessica Kastner

Marriage feeling a big ‘meh’ lately? It’s easy to fall into a rut, losing connectivity and feelings of closeness with each other during these hectic times. These four practices and behaviors will help better your marriage significantly!

Plan Date Nights

Everyone knows date nights are key to a healthy marriage, but how many of us actually throw on lipstick and heels for a night of romance once a week? This can be admittedly difficult with small kids and a lack of babysitters or if you have a blended family with complicated kid schedules. And for families on a budget, date night dinners often fall on the budgetary chopping block. I mean they aren’t necessary right? But they kinda are.

Escaping “the norm” and leaving the kids, household chores and our favorite stained hoody at home restores our perspective ad appreciation for each other and helps us view our partner under the lens of lover and friend instead of mommy / daddy/ person that took the dog out last. As soon as we screech out from our driveway on date nights, I feel like a new woman. If you absolutely can’t swing date nights, check out my article on how to plan faux dates at home. Put the kids down early (or locking them upstairs with scrupulous amounts of snacks and Xbox) order takeout, drop $5.99 for an HD Amazon rental, make a fire and/or whatever else helps make the night feel special.

Get Outside Together

There’s just nothing like nature to re-set our perspective and help us feel more grounded, peaceful and connected to each other. Even if you have to drive to a nearby trail, or the weather’s crummy, it’s worth the effort. Some of our best talks and conflict resolutions have happened on walks- even just around the neighborhood. When we walk and talk versus sit and talk, the quality of communication feels different. We’re moving forward together, not forced to sit immobile, eye to eye. It’s more freeing, and so is the conversation. It’s much more difficult staying mad or snapping at one another in the backdrop of a magnificent sunset, or along the ridgeline of a mountain trail on an autumn day. If you have a dog, walk it together after dinner, or schedule bi-weekly walks or hikes on the weekends or less busy weeknights.

Pray Together

I’m sorry but praying together is a turn on. It just is. My husband could eat every last ounce of my precious guacamole or fall asleep on the couch mid-date night (nooo he d-’in’t) but one glance at that bowed head, and I’m mush. Praying together often brings up topics of conversation that go otherwise untouched, giving opportunity to share your burdens and struggles with your spouse and bonding when seeing prayers answered together. Praying together solidifies a spirit of humility, vulnerability and unity between each other only possible through the Holy Spirit. If you’ve never prayed together formally, try praying together for a minute or two every morning- it makes all the difference in your day, and your relationship. Pick a time of day or night to pray to together at least once a week, incorporating a written prayer request and answered prayer list.

Share A Common Activity

We’re all busy. It can sound unrealistic to start or make time for a shared activity together, but this does not necessarily mean taking up golf to spend time with the hubs or him joining your book club. It can be anything from cooking together once a night, joining the gym together, starting a life group in your home, volunteering at a soup kitchen, learning how to make wine…anything that’s fun and/or rewarding for both of you. Sharing a fun common interest gives you both an opportunity to escape from the grind of daily life and genuinely enjoy one another’s company. It gives you something to talk about other than kid’s schedules and the checkbook balance and something to look forward to other than date night.

These four easy behaviors will increase the connection and better your marriage. Try one or two or all of them!

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February 6, 2022 0 comments

Family

God First, Marriage Second, Kids Third

by Joanna Flavin September 2, 2020

written by Joanna Flavin

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary! My husband and I got married at the age of 22, right after college (I’ll let you do the math at how old I am). 22 years old – we were little babies getting married. In this culture and society, where people are getting married later and having kids later, people thought we were nuts. “What’s the rush?” “What if you meet someone else now that you’re out in the real world?” But, when you follow God’s plan for you and keep God first, at the center of your life and of your relationship, there is no “rush” or “mistake”. God reveals His perfect plan and timing for you and your spouse.

My husband and I met when we were 5 years old. His family moved to the neighboring town and his dad was hired to be a youth pastor and associate pastor at the church my family attended. So, we really don’t have any memories of life without each other. We went through Sunday School together, Youth Group, and even though we went to different schools we found time to hang out outside of the church as well. Fast forward to junior year of high school and we went to each other’s proms and eventually started dating that summer. We made it through different colleges (an hour apart) and got married the summer after graduation – Labor Day weekend 2007.

God First

And here we are 13 years later. We endured 5 moves, 3 kids, deaths in the family, traumatic events, new jobs, success, failure…you name it we’ve been through it…together. “Together” is the keyword here. The only way we’ve survived any of the past 13 years is because we have focused our lives on God and seeking Him first. He has made us better people, better spouses, better communicators, and better parents. But we wouldn’t be the parents we are today if we didn’t keep Him at the center of our own lives and marriage.

Focus On The Family has some great tips on how to build a successful, Christ-centered marriage.

1. God First: Commitment

“Commitment means putting your spouse’s needs above your own. Studies show that the best indicator of marital well-being is how well each partner feels his or her needs are being met. I’ve found that when I focus only on my needs and forget about my wife, I tend to get irritated and disappointed. I may even begin to imagine how much better off I’d be with a different wife. On the other hand, I feel satisfied when I focus on my wife’s needs and how I can creatively meet them.” (Source) Bingo. If we are both focused on putting our spouse’s needs first then both of our needs are always met as a result.

2. Communication

“Like conflict resolution, communication is a learned skill — and it’s often hard work. Time must be reserved for meaningful conversations. Taking walks and going out for dinner are conversation inducers that keep love alive.” (Source) Communication is KEY. When my hubby and I were in college and doing “long-distance” we only had the phone. And AOL Instant Messenger (HA!). The only way we could communicate our needs was by talking openly and frequently. We talked about everything that we were feeling whether it was joyful, hard, sad, painful, funny, etc. Talking often and honestly is the best way to communicate.

3. Patience

“Marriage especially takes time and care to become really beautiful. That means learning patience…When you put two people — any two — in the same house, you’re going to have irritations and annoyances. There are times when I think God designed marriage just to teach me patience.” (Source) Truth. My husband does not like the way I squeeze my toothpaste tube. And I don’t like his mounds of clutter. But it is important to remember nobody is perfect. We all have quirks and flaws. Patience and grace allow us to look past those annoyances. And embrace one another’s uniqueness.

4. God First: Strong Beliefs

“Research shows that couples with strong religious beliefs are far more likely to stay together than those without them. It’s the shared morals and values that hold a husband and wife together. This solid foundation is a fortress against the storms of life.” (Source) God first. Marriage second. Kids third. Set yourselves up for success and a happy marriage!

September 2, 2020 0 comments