Christian musician Mark Hall of Casting Crowns describes how his low self-esteem led him to some pretty dark areas in his life. However, he tells how God saved his life and delivered him from that darkness through an alternative rock station.
Mark Hall In His Younger Years
When he was in third grade, Mark’s mother was called by the school counselor because Mark needed to get some tests done.
He said that the counselor was talking to his mother as if he wasn’t there. He didn’t grasp what they were talking about. But he understood one thing: he was not quite enough for what everybody else was.
“I believed it from that point on,” Mark said. “So when I was in school, I could be in class with my friends for a little while then they’d take us out to a different class. The intentions and all of that was great, but it still speaks to the heart because the enemy is aiming for my heart. It doesn’t matter how good the school’s intentions were. The enemy found my button pretty early on.”
Falling In Love
Mark said that there are three things the enemy will tell. First is that you have a problem. The second is that you’re the only one with a problem. And third is that you better keep it quiet because there’s no way out. When he was 19 years old, Mark fell in love. She became his world. And when she left, his world came crashing down.
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“They didn’t tell me that when you build your life around a person and the person leaves, you don’t have a life anymore. Those were days that I almost did not make it through,” he recalled.
One time, when Mark was in his friend’s car, he saw a gun. For a moment, he wanted to end his life. But the only thing that kept him from doing that was because he didn’t want to mess up his friend’s car.
Hearing God’s Word
Life went on, and Mark focused on his career as an artist. When he would draw, he would listen to a classic rock radio station. But there was a Christian program on Sunday nights. At first, Mark said it wasn’t cool. But the more he heard about the Scriptures being preached and different real-life testimonies, he got hooked.
“I began looking up those verses and that was some of the first times I ever got into God’s word for myself. That started changing things. I didn’t know what God thought about me. ‘What does Jesus think about me? I know what everybody else thinks about me,’” he recalled.
Since then, Mark would always run to God’s word to ask Him what He thinks about Mark. He felt like he wasn’t alone anymore because he knew Jesus was with him. And that started changing him.
Mark Hall Gets Real With His Feelings
Because of that change, Mark understood that his feelings don’t define him.
“The lies are always there. Our feelings are always going to be louder than the truth. I’m gonna walk in here in a little while and that room is going to be full of people. I will see the people who don’t want to be there first. I will not see people cheering and yelling and going, ‘This is the coolest thing ever.’ All I see is the guy that’s like… [sigh] because that’s how I’m wired. It’s an unfortunate thing. So when I come to the Lord, I come to Him with my feelings. And as I let God start speaking truth into my feelings, I start seeing that my feelings are valid. But that doesn’t make them true. I’ve got to start walking in what God says about me instead of what my mirror says about me. And what other people say about me. That is what started changing me,” he concluded.
Reference: 99.1 JOY FM
Header image: Mark Hall [99.1 JOY FM]. YouTube, 26 December 2022, https://youtu.be/uT1PmBo0DPI
