Adopting

Our Adoption Diaries Part 3

(Click HERE for part 1)

(Click HERE for part 2)

In 2012 we adopted 11 year old twin girls from Ethiopia. As soon as they were able to speak in broken English they started talking about growing up in Ethiopia. They were blessed to have been raised by a loving mother for 10 years and only had to live in an orphanage for several months. When sharing with us their experiences living in the orphanage, they told us they snuggled in three-to-a-bed and would cry every night, which would then make the other children start crying too. The staff would come in and tell them that it’s okay and told them to stop crying. The girls told us that after they met us on our first trip they didn’t cry at night anymore and that they would sleep with their photo books we gave them of our family and would pray to God that we would hurry up and come back to get them.
My jaw dropped at hearing them tell us these things. But there is more…
In my previous post (Part 2) I have written about how our 4 year old daughter begged us to, “go get more kids” when she came home from 4 years of orphanage life in India. “They don’t have a mommy and daddy!” she cried.
Well, if you told me that I would have a similar conversation with my 11 year old twins who grew up in rural family setting in Africa and have only lived in an orphanage for several months, I would not have believed you. We brought them home with no English but two months later I found myself laying in one of their beds at night in disbelief of what I was hearing.
It was like déjà vu. Through broken English from one of the twins I heard, “Mommy, me and Jerusalem and Sova… we can share one bed….THEN…three more beds are left! We get more kids…too much beds….too much…house too big…mommy and daddy adopt again….yes, good. Me big, me adopt too!”
Ummm….what do I say to that?
In my head I’m thinking, “Well, honey, the typical US household has 2.5 kids and we are already are at 5. We don’t want to look too weird.”
Once again I found myself praying not only to heal their broken orphan hearts, but to PRESERVE their compassion. There are some things just too precious to try to forget.
Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life.”

I am trying to stall my children’s adoption inquiries and rally the troops (church) around me.
People say, “I’d love to adopt, but it’s too expensive.” But those same people don’t think twice about taking out an $18,000 car loan.Yes, I know we need cars. That would rank high on my personal list. But children need families. They should not have to grow up in institutions or worse…on the streets. If you are okay with financing a car…would you ever consider financing an adoption?

Do you know that there are 0% interest adoption loans available?
Have you heard of Employee Adoption Assistance Benefits? Many employers help their employees when they adopt by reimbursing adoption expenses with a cash benefit of several thousand dollars.
There are also countless adoption grants available. We were given a $3,500 adoption grant from Show Hope.

Do you know that you can adopt children with often little to no cost?

Contact your local Department of Children and Families in your state and ask them about their, “foster to adopt program.”
I know several families who have adopted infants, toddlers, and children this. You set up the criteria that you are comfortable with. You are allowed to say yes or no to a particular case. I’ve seen families built this way seamlessly with no costs attached.

To fund our adoptions…

We did not have any money in savings when we adopted.
We had HUGE multiple tag sales, church bake sales, pasta dinner benefit, raffles, coin drives, collected cans and bottles, sold coffee online, sold t-shirts online, others sold arts and crafts for us, and we fundraised with a tax-deductible giving site online.
That may sound overwhelming but when done spread out throughout the entire year it is completely do able.
Miraculously, God did provide for our adoption expenses every time. Waiting on God to provide for us definitely increased our faith like nothing else. And to watch loved ones and strangers alike come along side of us in both encouragement and financial support moved our hearts greatly.

This is how we got started:

We did an internet search on adoption agencies, picked about ten that looked good, and asked them to send up their information packets in the mail. Once the packets pile in you probably can’t turn back. Some come with DVD’s that will make your husband cry and want to sell your wedding rings. We highlighted the programs that interested us, crossed out the agencies that were a bit higher priced, and researched to make sure the agency we were choosing was legitimate.
Then, when you find yourself signing papers, you take a deep breath, PRAY, and grab His hand tight and hold on…
When it’s over and the child whose picture you were staring at on your fridge for a year is wearing that cute outfit that was on the hanger for a year…you wonder how in the world that happened and fathom at the goodness of God.

Matthew 18:5:“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,”

What are you waiting for?  Here are several sites to help get you started!
http://www.adopt.org/

Every state has their own ‘Department of Children and Families’ site; look up your state’s. This is where you can get information about adopting and foster care information.
http://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information

Connecticut: http://www.ct.gov/dcf/site/default.asp

0% interest loans http://fundyouradoption.tv/interest-free-adoption-loans/

Adoption Grants:
https://showhope.org/our-work/adoption-aid/apply-for-a-grant/

http://giftofadoption.org/who-should-apply/?gclid=CPHn8YHD9dICFRKTfgodiAIHBQ

http://www.helpusadopt.org/apply?gclid=CM7e-5fD9dICFUhffgod5OIIDw

Setting up a tax-deductible donation site for your adoption:
http://www.lifesongfororphans.org/adoption-funding/adoption-grants/

Creative ideas on fundraising:
http://www.amotherslovefundraising.com/

Adoption Diaries Pt 2: My Wrestling Match with God

(Click HERE for part 1)

Here we go again!

Two years after we adopted our daughter from India we felt God calling us to adopt again. It was a heavy burden upon us and we knew what we had to do.
Yet, weeks passed and I noticed that I not only haven’t touched the adoption paperwork to get things rolling but I was avoiding it. The fact that this would be child number four was hard for me to swallow. There, of course, was the practical things, we would need a new car and we would need to either move or build an addition (the small bedrooms would literally not fit another bed.)
Even more than that was a dream I was holding on to…missions. Before we were married my husband and I felt called to serve God on the mission field but felt it wasn’t the timing to go just yet. Now, with four children in tow, I (naively) thought that this would hinder our vision.
Finally, I could not take my own procrastination anymore. Michael was working late on the computer so I planned to have some wrestling prayer with the Lord. Deep down I believed I was scared to pray because I knew the answer already. Either way, I was going to purpose myself before God and I wanted answers. Those prior weeks as I was praying for God’s direction, I knew that I never actually took the time to sit and listen!

The Presence of God changes things

Psalm 40:1 “I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined unto me, and heard my cry.”
While walking to my bedroom I found my five-year-old daughter Sova standing in the kitchen looking like a deer caught in headlights. It was 11 pm and she was still up…impossible! One of our chickens was tragically murdered that day and Sova was scared to sleep. Reluctantly, I let her into my bed thinking that she is unknowingly thwarting my prayer attempts.
So there I was sitting in my bed praying quietly while Sova was drifting off to sleep with her arms wrapped tightly around me. At this moment I am asking God some serious stuff and I feel Him standing before me gently nodding His head yes to my questions. He is strong before me yet so warm and gentle…I was in His presence and I was a wreck.
I feel Sova stir; now sleeping in my lap. The one who only ten minutes ago I thought was going to sabotage my prayer time- I now look down and weep for her. I weep out of the pain for not having her with me for her first four years of life and I weep of sheer gratitude the He has called me to be her mother. I suddenly think, “What if we never said yes to adopting her?”

I was wrestling with God

God, of course, knew that I was scared and right then and there He spoke a scripture verse to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11, “He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.”
I took that as my personal promise from Jesus.
He said, “Jill, my lamb, you are in my arms. I will carry you close to my heart, I will personally lead you.”
Then I felt Him ask me, “Will you take up one little lamb for me?”
The fears the devil pushed in my mind about adopting another child were instantly shattered. The fears that I once thought were big, now looked utterly ridiculous and petty in the face of Love.
The fact that we were born in the US and own two cars in a world where only 8% of people own cars…
Should I ask God why he does not ask the persecuted Christians in the Middle East who are fleeing for their lives to adopt instead of me? Or what about the 1.3 billion people who are living on less than $1 per day…why don’t you ask them? Or the 800 million suffering from hunger and malnutrition?
You get my point.
My family is not hungry and my children have too much clothing and toys. God has blessed us in the US not to just kick up our feet and rest while others in the world suffer.

Luke 3:10-11 “And the people asked him, saying, ‘What shall we do then?’ He answered and saith unto them, ‘He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.”
Last year I was overwhelmed and feeling undone by the vast number of orphans needing families. I would think, ‘what’s the point of adopting…it doesn’t make a dent, another child will fill my child’s bed the minute we go get them!’ I felt like throwing my hands up in the air and saying, ‘God, deal with this!’
So since then, He has done just that.
He has asked us to go do it.
Isaiah 1:27 “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.”
I hear him speak, “Look down on your lap. Yes, that one does count, that is my child…will you do it again for me?”
At that moment I believe I would have said yes to taking in every child on the planet. He is worth it.
Yet in the end, He called us to bring home two of His lambs from Africa.

READ PART 3