Everybody has a hero, and my dad was my hero. I was four years old when he died due to a heart attack, and life has never been the same since then. My family had to fight for survival, trying to just live and eat a decent meal every day. My siblings and I have had step dads who never treated us as their own, but as my mother’s baggage. They wanted my mother, but they never wanted us. Growing up, I never had a father figure to look up to and developed a mindset that men will never give us security and comfort.
We were a traditional religious family and so I knew about Jesus. However, I perceived Him as a punishing God who didn’t want “a brat like me” and I felt like He was scrutinizing me every time I looked at His picture on our wall. I grew up following religious tradition so that at least, the guilt that I felt for my sins would somehow lessen. I felt I had to work for my salvation.
But that changed when I encountered God on a personal level. It was an unexpected day, and my experience was amazing! Well, amazing is a weak word to describe what I had at that moment!
In my first two years of being a Christian, everything was blissful. It’s was as if I had everything in my life figured out because I was sure I was in agreement with God. He gave me everything. He answered every plea, every prayer, every demand, I had it easy. My fire for God was so consuming that I feel like flying to the world and just journeying happily in life, not just by merely walking but skipping and humming. It was complete bliss!
God healed my deepest pains and betrayals that I felt during my younger years, and He fitted back the pieces that were broken in me. He didn’t just put me back together, but He made me new. I never thought that I could be that blessed to have it all together. Accepting Him in my life was the best decision I ever made!
I thought life would be perfect after that, or so I thought. However, Trials after trials came, and it became beyond overwhelming. Needless to say, I felt abandoned.
I could go on with my story but I think it will bore you. (Ha ha) But somehow this video from John Bevere’s Facebook page, sums it all up. Entitled Abandoned, this short film somehow summarizes my journey with God. Many of us have turned cold to God and forgotten our first love. We may feel like He has abandoned us, but He never has, and He never will.
My prayer for you is that the fire in you would be rekindled, in much greater intensity. I pray that you will open your eyes to what God is doing privately behind the scenes. Maybe, like me, your vision is clouded and you feel like God’s far from you and that He left you already. But don’t believe it. Our feelings can deceive us but His Word will always stand up to what it promises.
So get back up and take step one! Well, you already took step one by reading this so from here, take step two!
This article is written by Le-Jovale Vallejo.
