Has a family member, friend or business partner ever burned you? Done you wrong? That feeling of betrayal is a hard pill to swallow, especially when it comes from someone close to you. They say that time heals all wounds, but I’ve had a few wounds that, over time, got worse. The pain and hurt continued to grow and the more time that passed, the more that bitterness grew. It almost destroyed me until I took actions and dealt with it! Listen and learn the steps I took so you can apply them in your life.
Step 1: Make a List of everyone you have done wrong
I made a list of everyone who I had done wrong over the years or who thought I had done them wrong. I didn’t just go back three, five or even 10 years. I made a list that went all the way back through high school. I sent apologetic emails, texts and letters asking for their forgiveness and what I needed to make it right. (speaking of writing books about being done wrong, I could also write a book about how I wronged others)
Some people didn’t respond at all while some responded with disbelief: “Have you been hacked?” A few told me both where to go and how to get there, but a fair percentage responded with, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming, but how refreshing.” With each return contact, I endured a rush of embarrassment and hesitation. I was admitting that I was wrong. I was asking for forgiveness, and I was requesting to have our relationship restored. At the end of the exercise, which took about three months, I was mentally exhausted, but I found that my mind and spirit were renewed and strengthened.
Colossians 3:13 states “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
Proverbs 28:13 states “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”
It’s your turn. Start making your list. Who all have you done wrong? Now go to them and apologise. Yes, do it for them but do it for yourself, as well. Take hold of the seed of bitterness and start ripping it out. I promise you – once you go through this process you will have wished you had done it years and years ago!
Step 2: Make a List of everyone you has done you wrong
I made a list of everyone who had done me wrong over the years… family, friends, business partners, and everyone else that I could recall. This was hard. I didn’t want to remember the pain and humiliation, but I knew I had to address it. I recorded my feelings, and then I started praying for God to remove the bitterness, the anger, and the pain. I started uttering words of prayer. I forgave my employee for embezzling money.
What??? Why would I forgive them? Well, God says to forgive others so we can be forgiven AND as I started to forgive them, I could feel the burden and sadness physically lift from my soul and my life. I could feel the anger and bitterness melting away.
It’s your turn! Start making your list. Who all has done you wrong? Who all has hurt you? Cheated you? Lied to you? Now, forgive them. As Mark 11:25 states “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” Forgive others as God commands you.
Step 2 must be done before you start Step 3.
Step 3: Continue to forgive 70×7
As you can imagine, the pain, anger and frustration come rushing in at times when I remember what someone did to me. You will experience the same feelings. Just because you say it once doesn’t mean that it sticks! I’m 100% positive there are things that I will be turning over to God on a regular basis, but that’s the solution! That’s the difference! Jesus directly addressed this to Peter. Jesus told Peter that he should be willing to forgive his brother as many times as needed.
Matthew 18: 21-22 states “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”
Keep forgiving!
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This video is presented by Nathan Tabor who is a husband, father, life coach, business consultant, entrepreneur, speaker and author. Nathan’s Work-Life Balance Programs help spouses communicate better, connect with their children and help to restore broken relationships.
